Posts Tagged “Parents”

rage
by zled81

Question by sulla_thegod: Do your parents or a parent go into a rage when they are angry?
Do your parent or a parent go into a rage when they are angry. Does the rage scare you. Do you get hit when the parent is in the rage do your friends get scared or avoid your parent(s) because of the rages?

Best answer:

Answer by Debbie
Are these your parents who go into a rage? If so, they need to seek professional help and anger management to get their temper under control. They’re hitting you? That is abuse and the child should be removed from the home and stay with more stable and loving family members. No one deserves to be in that situation and children deserve to be in loving, nurturing environment.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Comments 2 Comments »

Rohs Weee And China Rohs
Achieve Rohs Compliance In Only 6 Months. New China Rohs Chapter. Critical Regulatory Knowledge For Electronics Businesses Worldwide. Now Offering China Rohs Efup Guidelines Translation.
Rohs Weee And China Rohs

Essential Tips When Choosing A College
Choosing The Right High School To Send Your Children To, Is A Critical Decision That Every Parent Has To Make. This Guide Provides 23 Essential Tips For Parents To Consider When Making This Key Decision.
Essential Tips When Choosing A College

Comments Comments Off

Question by mctmes: Why are some atheists so hostile towards religious people, particularly Christians?
I am an atheist myself. I don’t like how some of them are so hostile towards religious people, and they seem to hate Christianity the most. They seem to think that anyone who believes in God is “stupid,” or “brainwashed.” And then they accuse religious people of being hateful and intolerant and yet they clearly can not stand anyone believing different from themselves. I think it’s just them rebelling against their parents. What do you think?

Best answer:

Answer by KC
Please check out this link…

http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2007/10/atheists-and-an.html

It addresses everything about Atheists and Anger. More than I could get into here.

Just one from this site:
“I’m angry that atheist soldiers — in the U.S. armed forces — have had prayer ceremonies pressured on them and atheist meetings broken up by Christian superior officers, in direct violation of the First Amendment. I’m angry that evangelical Christian groups are being given exclusive access to proselytize on military bases — again in the U.S. armed forces, again in direct violation of the First Amendment. I’m angry that atheist soldiers who are complaining about this are being harassed and are even getting death threats from Christian soldiers and superior officers — yet again, in the U.S. armed forces. And I’m angry that Christians still say smug, sanctimonious things like, “there are no atheists in foxholes.” You know why you’re not seeing atheists in foxholes? Because believers are threatening to shoot them if they come out.”

Add your own answer in the comments!

Comments 19 Comments »

Love, Anger and Forgiveness: How to Let Go and be Emotionally Free Once and for All

Anger and forgiveness seem to be opposites, and in many ways they are. You may be surprised to learn, however, that they have a lot in common. If you make anger the “bad guy,” you just won’t get to the forgiving part. Anger has to be fully understood and released before you get to move on to the freedom of forgiveness. Forgiveness has to be fully understood before you can let go of resentments and be emotionally whole and free.

It all starts with love. We are born with the need to love and be loved, and no one, even the best parents, can meet that need perfectly. Therefore we all feel hurt as a natural part of life. And of course, there are those hurts that are inflicted by abuse, abandonment and neglect, in some cases extreme.

From this pain, fear and anger naturally emerge. It makes perfect sense to be angry when you’re hurt. Anger is an important place to visit, you just don’t want to live there. Here is where forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness is the process of letting go of anger and resentment so that you can go on with your life. Forgiveness is for you, not for the forgiven. That is essential to understand.

Anger and forgiveness seem opposite, in the sense that anger involves an intense focus on the “wrongdoer,” and forgiveness involves shifting focus off of that person and moving on with your life. Yet there are some ways that anger and forgiveness are the same.

How Anger and Forgiveness Are The Same

Unhealthy anger and premature forgiveness both include:

-Judgment

-The “one-up” position

-Dishonoring to yourself

When you are angry at someone and blaming them, you are definitely judging them and putting yourself in a “one-up” position. The way you are dishonoring yourself here is that you are failing to look at your own creative responsibility in the situation. This is the hazard of the “blame game.” When you are into blaming others for your feelings, situation or plight, you are making yourself a victim and denying your own power and responsibility.

Premature forgiveness is forgiving someone when you’re not through being angry. You are still judging them, and therefore you’re seeing yourself as “one-up.” You are dishonoring yourself by pretending to forgive in your mind, when your heart and gut are still carrying anger and resentment.

Here are some important truths to remember when you’re angry:

-The other person is responsible for his/her actions that triggered your anger. You are not responsible for their behavior.

]]>

-You are responsible for your emotional reaction and for your actions that result from your emotional reaction. They are not responsible for your emotional reactions or your behavior that results.

Here are some other ways that anger and forgiveness are the same. When anger is healthy, and forgiveness is authentic, both involve:

-Power

-Release

-Letting go

-No more victim position

-Operating in a container of love

Both healthy anger and true forgiveness involve the power of healthy release and letting go, which takes you out of the victim position. This can only occur in a container of love. Anger can only be healthy when accompanied by some degree of love and wisdom, and forgiveness can only be true when it is based on love for yourself and/or another person.

Understanding Anger

Anger is the most misunderstood emotion. Most people just think it is bad. Here are some common misconceptions:

-Anger is a bad emotion and should always be controlled

-It is possible to be without anger completely

-It is wrong to be angry

-To be angry means to be out of control

-Anger is the same thing as aggression

-When a person is angry that means they are not safe to be around

These misconceptions result from the lack of understanding of healthy anger. Healthy anger is:

-A feeling you have when you’re threatened or opposed

-A protective emotion

-Powerful energy that can be used for positive outcomes

-Fuel for effective action

Have you ever taken action about something that made you angry? Think about MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. They got mad, and took action in healthy, appropriate ways to resolve the problem leading to their pain and anger. Here’s the bottom line on healthy anger:

Healthy anger fuels effective action!

Understanding True Forgiveness

True forgiveness is something that only your body can do. Surprised by that? Here’s the deal. Anger and resentments are held in the body as well as the mind, and your mind can decide to forgive long before your body is ready. Literally, your body has a mind of its own. Here are some things to understand about forgiveness:

-Forgiveness is not just a decision that you can make in your mind

-Forgiveness requires an emotional and physical release to be complete

-Your body is capable of holding onto anger long after your mind thinks it has forgiven

-Forgiveness does not absolve the wrongdoer—you don’t have that kind of power

-Withholding forgiveness does not hold the wrongdoer accountable—everyone is accountable whether you forgive or not

-Forgiving doesn’t mean you have decided that what the wrongdoer did is okay

-You don’t have to wait for the wrongdoer to change for you to forgive

-You won’t be able to forgive until you have fully examined the depth and extent of your wounds

-You won’t be able to forgive until you have acknowledged the full depths of your anger

-Forgiveness is for you

-Forgiveness is good for your health

-Forgiveness allows you to be more loving and joyful

You will know that you have forgiven when your body is relaxed and your breathing is deep and easy—while you visualize the wrongdoer and say, “I accept you for who you are, with all of your best and worst. I no longer need you to change. I forgive you for myself, so that I can be free. I forgive you so that I can let go of resentments and feel love and joy in my heart, mind and body.”

Your body will tell you if the forgiveness is complete.

Keys to Emotional Health and Freedom

-Take responsibility for your actions and emotions

-Do not accept blame for anything

-Place responsibility for others’ actions and emotions on them

-Do not blame anybody for anything

Here are some thoughts to consider about love:

-Love can be intoxicating, and therefore can lead to unhealthy decisions

-The need to love and be loved is the most powerful force in human nature

-Love is who you are in your spiritual essence

-Conditional love is not really love—it is more about control

-The only real love is unconditional love

-You will always remember those people in your life who have loved you unconditionally

-You are at your very best when you are experiencing unconditional love

Life starts with love. Anger is an inevitable emotion, which can temporarily or permanently take us away from love. When we work through our anger, we can forgive. Forgiveness is a return to love.

The greatest of these is love.

William G. DeFoore is a counselor, executive coach, speaker and president of the Institute for Personal and Professional Development. He has 37 years of experience in helping people achieve healthy, happy relationships. Get free information, watch videos and purchase books, CDs and downloads at www.AngerManagementResource.com.


Article from articlesbase.com

Comments Comments Off

Suspect in slayings of couple had ‘episodes of rage’
A neighbor who was killed after stabbing a couple in their 80s to death in their Marengo home had a history of mental illness and experienced “episodes of rage,” his parents have told investigators.
Read more on Chicago Tribune

Battles rage in al Qaeda-held Yemen town, 25 dead
Fighting flared on Tuesday in a southern Yemen city seized by Islamist militants, killing at least 25 people, a local official said, after Washington urged President Ali Abdullah Saleh to hand over power peacefully.
Read more on Reuters via Yahoo! News

Comments Comments Off

Question by nathdapunk1995: How can I convince my parents to let me go to a underage rage?
There is a underage rage on tomorrow (5/12) in a nearby town. I am not allowed to go (as is). How can I change this? ALL of my friends are going. They are younger than me. Apparently there are 6yr olds there. I am almost 14.

NB – I WILL need an answer by the end of 4/12. 10pts best answer will be paid out then.

Best answer:

Answer by Matt I
Go without them knowing, say your going to the park or what ever it is you normally do and just go, well that’s all you can do really as parents are too self-absorbed to actually listen to their child.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Comments Comments Off

angry_woman
Image by Floyd Brown via Flickr

Critical Parent: How Much is Too Much?

Being a child of critical parents, how much mistreatment is enough? How much wishing things will change do you do? How many second chances do you give your parents? When do you draw the line and create boundaries? When do you cut ties?

How to Deal with a Critical Parent

Understand that a parent who gives in to the desire and need to criticize a vulnerable child is on some level cruel, ignorant and completely unaware. Why else would they give in to the temptation to make their own children feel so badly about themselves? They either lack understanding as to what their words are doing, or they lack kindness.

Either way, they are lacking. Every time they criticize you, tell yourself that this shows that they are the ones who are flawed, not you. Just remember that just because you’re genetically linked (or adopted by) this person, doesn’t give him / her the right to mistreat you.

How to address your critical parent can be a tricky proposition. People in general can become defensive, retreat, or run away. But when the person is your own parent, so many more dynamics come in to play. And although you may make the most honorable, loving, and concerted effort to keep the relationship afloat, your parent may not see things the same way you do.

The following is a series of steps I took to approach my critical parents:

1. Do Nothing: For a long time, I did nothing. I thought that after time, the judgmental criticisms would go away when I proved myself to be worthy. I thought that after I exhibited my independence and showed how successful I was as a person, my parent would magically become this nicer, unconditionally loving, and careful parent. WRONG. Obviously, doing nothing won’t change how your critical parent treats you. So if doing nothing is the option chosen, you’ll have to accept that he / she is the one that is flawed and know that he / she will not change. I wasn’t to that stage, as I kept blaming myself. Not until I started to understand that my parent was the flawed one did I start seeing the light and coming to terms with the relationship.

2. Communicate: I tried communicating my desire for an unconditional and loving relationship with my parent and expressed how I felt when I left from a visit– dejected, empty, and sad. The result? My parent became more critical, more judgmental, and more dysfunctional.

Alice Miller encourages grown children to express anger and pain to their parents, not to punish or change, but to develop an authentic relationship. When you say no more, the word “no” is a word that never should be negotiated because the parent who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you. Declining to hear “no” is a signal that someone is either seeking to control or refusing to relinquish control.

So, if you opt to communicate your displeasure with your mistreatment, be firm with your stance and consistent with your reactions. Be honest and relate that the criticisms really hurt. Being honest like this is hard but if you want to have a relationship with your parent and not tolerate the abuse, speak your mind to try to improve the situation. Further, let the parent know that you no longer want to hear their criticisms and sharing them with you is no longer an option. And if your parent decides not to accept your feelings or your requests, realize that you own your feelings and that you have every right to feel the way you do and that every relationship has mutual respect. Be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself.

3. Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries was the next step. When I was a teenager, keeping involved in school activities and functions kept me from being at home and the recipient of the mistreatment. Once I was out on my own, I physically separated myself from my parents. For example, if you live next-door to your parents, consider moving to the other side of town. If you live in your parent’s house, consider renting an apartment or buying your own home.

I also limited calls and visits. For example, if your mother asks you to call every day, politely explain that you are only able to call once a week. Or, if your father demands weekly visits, kindly explain that you are only able to visit one weekend a month. Along with limiting calls & visits, I set boundaries on the amount of time my parents spent at my home– and dropping by unannounced was a big no-no. If violations of boundaries occur, let the parent know immediately and remind the parent of the boundaries.

In my case, the boundaries didn’t help in regard to criticisms. The criticisms coming from my parent only accelerated as time progressed. Even if I only saw my parent three times a year, I left every single visit feeling terrible. My parent would completely crush me with snide or off-hand comments, cutting comments at opportune times, and make mountains out of mole hills leaving me completely baffled as to where this treatment was coming from.

4. Separate Yourself: Now I was forced to take the next step, which was to separate myself– not a permanent estrangement or no-contact situation, but a time for reflection and review of the relationship. During this time, I politely turned-down invitations for get-togethers and avoided communications with the parent. My goal was that through keeping this space between myself and my parent, time may ease tensions and make appreciation for the other grow. My hope was that my parent would be more grateful to see me, softer with approach, and also realize errors in the way I was treated. Nope. Maybe things were a bit brighter upon the first visit after the separation, but the critical treatment quickly returned and at a greater intensity.

The single greatest power adult children have is the ability to GET AWAY. Simply talking aobut the source of danger does not make it go away. Saying, “I won’t tolerate being treated this way” and failing to leave demonstrates lack of conviction and ambivalence.

Remember some parents have a need for perfection and tend to be judgmental by nature. They see the flaws, instead of the strengths, and in every human, if you look for flaws, you will find flaws. Such parents are wired to find the glass half empty, instead of half full. This has nothing to do with you, or who you are, or what you are worth as a person. Such people rarely, if ever, change. Let go of the belief that if you tried harder you would suddenly gain their approval. You won’t.

The giver of criticism, rather than the receiver, is usually the one who has a problem and needs to change.

5. Estrangement / No-Contact: So after decades of trying and progressive steps to try to ‘create’ a loving and compassionate parent, I decided to stop trying. First off, you can’t change anyone… but YOURSELF. Second, life is too short. Acknowledging both of these points, I made a conscious effort to surround myself with loving, approving people. I broke off all contact with my critical parent and made sure that my life was filled with people who see the good in me and who aren’t too afraid or too petty to give me the affirmation and positive feedback my soul deserves.

Sure I wish things were different. I would love to have a warm and loving relationship with my parents. Sure I wish I had parents that are accepting and supportive– but that’s not what I was given. And because I recognize and understand where my parents are coming from, I chose not to participate. I chose to be happy. I chose to have love in my life. I chose to have people in my life that see the GOOD in others.

If a person can’t see the good in others, he / she is lacking basic qualities needed for healthy human relationships.

I am presently estranged from both of my parents, but each relationship manifested itself completely differently. What was the drawing-line in one relationship was not the same drawing-line for the other. My Dad’s relationship was progressively souring, whereas my mother’s relationship was cyclical with a distinct blow-up suddenly initiating an estrangement. In other words, my Dad & my relationship was a slow decline leading to an estrangement, and my mother & my relationship went into an estrangement abruptly.

My Mother: the suddenly critical parent

My mother has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and we’ve been estranged off and on in 5 year cycles for most of my life. During ‘good’ times, her BPD symptoms consisted of inappropriate social behavior, bouts of depression, impulsive behaviors (shopaholic, over-eating, hording, self-medicating), and unstable patterns of social relationships. During the 1999 – 2004 period, her dysfunctional and critical behaviors were not aimed at me, and therefore, we floated along in a relationship.

Prior to our 2004 estrangement, my mother and I were getting along very well. We visited with each other at least two times a month, I was helping her to get her house organized & cleaned, and we talked on the phone often sharing life experiences. If my mother had remained stable as describe, I could tolerate the quirks and would maintain contact. I never thought I had an authentic relationship with her, however, as I had to walk on eggshells around her regarding my Dad, my childhood, and any discussions related to either.
My estrangement with my mother started mid-way through 2004 (Little Women) when she didn’t agree with what my then fiance (now husband) and I were discussing in regard to our wedding. We didn’t have any wedding plans; in fact, we hadn’t even started doing any planning) In my opinion, the estrangement didn’t occur because she blew up about the wedding– the estrangement occurred because of:

a complete loss of trust originating from her campaign of denigration (horrible criticisms, lies, exaggerations, and manipulations) against me (Understanding the Borderline Mother: Enlisting her Allies Against Her Target of Rage) and how she distorted and manipulated the facts of what happened.

If she simply had blown-up about the wedding and then let things cool down to where we could move on, the estrangement may not have happened AT THAT POINT. Now don’t get me wrong– the estrangement would have happened as it’s happened about every 5 years. SOMETHING would have set off her fuse and caused a blow up to which she would over-react.

And therein lies the root of the Borderline’s tragic personality– what drives the Borderline’s personality is their real or imagined fear of rejection and / or abandonment. Clearly her cycles of depression, manic, and psychotic phases of BPD are evident through her patterns of estranged relationships: myself, her father, her sister, my brother, her husbands (3), circles of friends discarded. So, with the wedding being an event where she perceived a potential abandonment, she flipped the situation to where she claims I rejected her… or as she puts it, I ‘kicked’ her ‘out’ of the wedding.

More specifically, Borderlines have such a fear of abandonment that they set-up a situation to be rejected. The BPD turns a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde, seemingly out-of-the blue, around the time that they feel threatened by rejection or abandonment. Along with a huge blow-up that is irrational and not based on reality, the BPD starts a campaign of denigration to turn friends and family against her target of rage (me in this case).

Despite how nonsensical this sounds to you the reader, this behavior is part and parcel of the BPD personality. The BPD is essentially beating the target of rage (me) to the punch by starting a situation that ultimately must end in an estrangement, and in the process attempts to gather the target of rage’s (my) friends and family as allies in order to confirm that it’s not his / her fault. The Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde transformation accompanied by the campaign of denigration is usually too much for the target of rage (me) to handle; thus the target of rage (me) retreats; therefore, the BPD’s fears of abandonment come to fruition by all fault of his /her own. The result is an estrangement with the BPD pleading she /he is the victim. The target of rage (me) who went from being idealized to devalued almost instantaneously, is left stunned and puzzled in regard to the Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde transformation.

Even in the absence of my wedding, another situation would have certainly presented itself where my mother would have flipped her lid, and the idealization of me would have instantaneously changed to devaluation. This pattern has presented itself in the 80′s, 90′s, and 2000′s where my mother would flip her lid about petty or minuscule things ending with an estrangement. Her disagreement with my wedding wasn’t the reason for the estrangement– my mother’s reaction to the disagreement that was the reason. Her reaction was one filled with anger, venom, hatred, manipulations, gossip, and lies, which all led to a complete loss of trust. During the Dr. Jekyll times, things were good. During Mr. Hyde times, estrangements occur. Thus, the cycle of BPD.

My Dad: the always critical parent

In contrast, my Dad is a completely different story. My Dad doesn’t cycle through varying behavior, attitudes, or dispositions. He is always a selfish and a highly critical narcissist, who is getting worse as he is getting older and retired. He loves the blame game and guilt trips. He enjoys criticizing, nit-picking, and judging. He’s a prolific gossip and loves manipulating those around him for his gain. He feels like the world revolves around him, loves being the center of attention, and demands a great deal of praise & admiration from others. He takes advantage of those around him and lacks empathy.

Whether not my last straw happened in December 2008 (Holidays Leading to Last Straw), our relationship had been on the downswing for years. In fact, when my husband & I had left from our Thanksgiving 2008 visit, I knew that I would not continue subjecting myself, husband, and now child to this toxic, dysfunctional, and very criticizing experience. Since the early 2000′s, I have left visits with him feeling empty, dejected, and sad. No matter how I set my mind to having a positive experience prior to the gathering, it never failed– I would leave feeling horrible.

Conclusion– How to Handle the Critical Parent

No two parental situations are exactly the same, so what may work in one situation may not be the best in another. However, doing something to improve your situation is imperative when dealing with a critical parent. By simply being conscious of the effects of criticism, you’ll actually begin to negate the effects. Bringing to the surface the impact of criticism can actually help it dissipate and lose the power it has in your life.

Steps to gain control include: doing nothing, communicating your feelings and expectations, setting boundaries, separating yourself from your parent, and estrangement / no-contact. Steps can be completely skipped or passed through quickly depending on the individual situation.

Most importantly, let go of the hope that your critical parent will ever change. Stop looking for approval from the parent. Understand why the parent is like this, but stop looking to them for approval and support you will probably never get. Having a critical parent is not your fault, and you can’t make this critical parent into a kind and approving parent.

Gretel Ella is the author of the blog The Queen and King (http://thequeenandking.blogspot.com), which details her life with a Borderline Personality Disorder mother and a Narcissistic Personality Disorder Dad. Entries also include analysis of Borderline, Narcissistic, and Antisocial Personality Disorders, along with additional writings about her family relationships, Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), critical parents, enlightened witnesses, adults shamed in childhood, estrangement, and more.

More Criticism Articles

Comments Comments Off

Question by tangerine: How is giving constructive criticism in any way unpatriotic?
People seem to assume that if you make any criticisms whatsoever regarding the policies of your country, you must hate your country. Why is that? If anything, it makes me wonder what sort of relationships some of these people must have with their friends and relatives. After all, any sensible person knows that it’s sometimes necessary to offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism to someone you love. When these people were scolded by their parents when they were young, did they assume that their parents hated them, just because they criticized them? And when they fight with their spouses, do they assume that their spouses have ceased to love them, just because they levelled criticisms against them?

Best answer:

Answer by S!
wrong category, dear

Give your answer to this question below!

Comments 9 Comments »

Question by anunez003: rage???????
Arguing with my fiancee gets no where. I usuall suggest ideas/solutions to our problems and in no way point the finger. he takes it as everything is always his fault and as a result things turn into arguments bc he sits there fighting his point (which i completely understand and am offering a solution/compromise to). It gets to the point where i start getting sooooo frustrated that i start crying, wanting to throw things, hyperventilate (sometimes to the point of feeling like passing out). I don’t think a relationship should get this way. I constantly try to compromise and work things out, if its something i did wrong i take the suggestions and try to better myself i have no problem listening to what people have to say or suggest to me. I just cant continue to let myself get so angry and frustrated. I’m scared one day i might get out of control bc u really dont think clearly when u get that frustrated. Suggestions????
I should clarify myself: this does not happen all the time and I would never hurt myself no matter how much i want to or think about it i just cant and won’t. I just dont want to get worse. Im already constantly irritable at work and am starting to get short tempered. sometimes i blame myself and my parents relationship but really its ignorance on his part that is frustrating me to this.

Best answer:

Answer by Blazin_frizzard
stop arguing with your fiancee, obviously. everytime you get angry close your eyes and count to ten no matter how ridiculous it seems, if anyone asks tell them your feeling upset and that you need to calm down. Whatever you do DONT GRAB THE KNIFE, if its really that bad consider leaving your fiancee. Ppl shouldn’t have to argue like that. Oh yeah, go to relationship therapy to try and figure things out between you two if you want the relationship to last. Good luck, may you run through a cornfield and breath in joy… >:(

Give your answer to this question below!

Comments 2 Comments »

Angry Penguin
Image via Wikipedia

Anger Coping Techniques

Coping with anger is essential, since exploding in an uproar usually only causes more problems. Anger attitudes develop throughout the years, while we grow to adults. We may have lived in a normal environment, but our parents may have frequently displayed anger, affecting  some of the natural growing processes while we were children.

When this happens, it affects our developing process and we may grow up lacking coping skills. One example can be seen when a child is frequently punished  and rarely complimented for his or her behaviors.

The parents were probably not aware of the damage they were causing, since the child will probably grow up punishing his or her self each time a mistake is made. Most mistakes have no lasting effect on our lives, unless it is something serious.

Therefore, instead of beating yourself up, review your mistakes and learn from them. If you practice positive thinking you will fare better when your emotions are threatened, which means you will have more control over your anger.

One good way to look at anger is that it is a positive force; however when it is utilized inappropriately then it is a negative one. Either we allow our anger to control us, or we control our anger.  Control is what matters to everyone, since if we do not have taht then we are easily frustrated.

A very good coping strategy is learning self-talk. Take 15 minutes out of each day to review your thoughts and say them to yourself.  Notice if you have a series of negative thoughts, such as I am a failure.

Then you want to ask yourself why you are a failure. Review all the good things you do each day and commend yourself. When you see your mistakes, remember everyone makes them and there are probably no serious consequences for the mistake you made.

If you get angry easily and break things, or yell and scream, think of the consequences when you are reviewing your day. If you break things then you made a mess and it needs to be cleaned up. This means you have to work an extra few minutes during the day to clean up your mess.

You resolved nothing and the item you broke, if of value, would cost you when you replace it. This means you wasted time, energy and money. If you yell or scream when you are angry then you are upsetting your heart, nerves, mind, and body. This means that in the end you may have long-term medical conditions.

Now you can look at positive aspects of anger. If you take a few short breaths, you might find that your anger is unjustifiable. On the other hand, if there is justifiable cause for your anger you might want to slow down, think for a few minutes and find a way to stress your emotions without interrupting your body, mind and health.

If you think about it,  a person who responds calmly instead of fueling the fire often gets further than those that blow up out of anger. If you are obsessively running through each day without slowing down then you need a coping strategy to help you deal with the stress.

It is important to set a schedule in place so that you find time for you. When you pamper yourself then you are taking a step to coping with your anger. When you have many tasks to be attended to during a day then make a list of what needs done first. Do not procrastinate;  rather,  handle one task at a time. When you finish each task, it is often easier to handle other tasks.

It is important to remember that you are a human being and that you are not a super man or woman. Another great strategy is remembered that nothing is permanent. If you set yourself up for failure then, most likely, you will fail.

If you believe something will happen and later find that it did not then you set yourself  up for stress. Taking it one day at a time is often the best solution and repeating this over in your mind daily can help you cope with your anger.

Remember that decisions and actions made in response to negative emotions, such as anger,  rarely have a good outcome!

Comments Comments Off


SEO Powered By SEOPressor