Posts Tagged “assertive”

Question by Gwen: How do I become more assertive in bed with my partner?
I am a very feminine 27 year old lesbian. In my past relationships I have always been the more “submissive” one, so to say. I recently started dating a woman who is most definitely more aggressive in life (and somewhat butch as well) but she is very submissive in bed, and I am struggling to find a balance. I’m really into her, and want our relationship to continue to grow, so I need some advice on how to be more assertive in bed!

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Answer by The Truth Hurts
Maybe you should start to be more “submissive” first. Like you make the first moe. Tell her to relax an enjoy the ride!

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Question by Susan F: How to be more assertive in life?
I have a huge problem being assertive and sticking up for myself. I wanted to know if anyone had any advice on how to stop being such a pushover. I let my friends be catty to me and make me feel bad constantly, I am getting taken advantage of at work, and in my relationship I let my boyfriend cancel plans and ditch me all the time. I am sick of being a doormat but am always trying to please everyone and have no problems with anyone.

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Answer by Sarah
I think i need to improve in that too. You just have to put your foot down. Don’t let them intimidate you.

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Question by chris n: I need to be assertive, but how can I do this without being foolhardy and making mistakes?
I need to be assertive, but how can I do this without being foolhardy and making mistakes?

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Answer by Alofa Jordan [[AJ]]
sweetie can you elaborate more on the situation? so we at least get the gist of it and can help you out….

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Question by Carlie W: Why it is important to be assertive in the workplace?
Why it is important to be assertive, what this means and situations and situations when you should be assertive
Thank you this is really help ful!

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Answer by mariebear
Being asserive means standing up to people and standing up for yourself. If you are not assertive, other people will dump their work off on you because they are lazy or stupid or both. People will try to manipulate you into doing what they should be doing if you dont stand your ground. Assertive–being ballsy and not taking crap off of people. Stand up for yourself and your ideas-dont let people take advantage of you.

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Question by : What is your definition of being assertive?
My crush told my friend that she likes me but I should be more assertive and less shy. How do you think a Guy should be assertive without being too aggressive.

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Answer by X
trial and error

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Question by Psyched: Assertiveness: What are some “hands-on” (not books) ways to learn to remain assertive when others are not?
I find I can be assertive with other people who are assertive (healthy conversation). However when someone is agressive I either turn passive or raise (lower) myself to his/her level rather than staying calm in the moment. What are some ways (remember not books) to stay in an assertive zone when feeling uncomfortable?

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Answer by patois
Yeah, I have a problem, too, with this. It’s either Pollyanna or Lizzy Borden with my nature. Seldom anything in between. But, in the last decade of trying for the stability of assertiveness, I have made progress. My secret has been to stabilize myself first and THEN work on stabilizing how I respond to other people. It works. Try Zen meditation and gobs of solitude. Assertiveness training workshops are usually pretty helpful. But, as a nurse, I keep running across a few here and there that aren’t quite right. The group leader has her own agenda and problems that manifest in unhealthy ways, including suggestions for aggressiveness. Just be aware of that possibility and walk out if it occurs.

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Question by : How can I be more assertive at work with getting a day off?
I tried to request a day off which I really needed and they wont give it to me. If it was anyone else, they would!! I feel walked on and because I dont speak up and I dont know how to be assertive, they take advantage of me and everyone picks on me at work because I am quiet. So any advice on how I can be more assertive? I want to speak up and be firm but therefore, not be rude and lose my job?

Best answer:

Answer by Spindrift
After a certain amount of time at work you accrue personal time, I think it’s 6 months in most jobs, but you need to go to your mgr and request the day off. You can be assertive without being rude, the two are entirely different, assertive is demanding your rights in a calm quiet professional manner, and the quieter and more professional you behave, the more respect you will earn.

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Question by : How should i hardcore flirt with my friend if she wants an assertive guy?
A friend of mine in high school wants a assertive Guy and I want to be with her. What should I do to really flirt with her and show assertiveness. She grabs and hugs me a lot so should I do the same?

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Answer by Tk
Just grab her and jab her and toss her a around like you toss guys you fag.

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Question by : How to become more aggressive and assertive?
I am too laid back, and i never give my goals the full attack they need. I back down in confrontation, and i try to be too gentle with people. And i hate it, how to i make myself more assertive?

Best answer:

Answer by SBL
Just be straight with people. The majority of people who are passive or passive aggressive want to be liked by others and they fear that people will either reject them or dislike them if they don’t say yes etc. It’s hard to be assertive at times especially when you seek peace and harmony amongst others. However, when your direct and straight forward people tend not to take advantage of you and you can be assertive but still be a good person to others. Also I will tell you no matter how you act people are still going to talk about you or find something they don’t like about you. Don’t be a pushover, stand your ground and be firm but don’t feel guilty about being this way. You must do what’s best for you not others because people will still like you regardless.

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Question by Rosemarie C: How can I learn to be assertive and is it too late for me to learn?
I’m 34. I’m very soft spoken. I feel like I’ve been bullied all my life. Where do people find the strength? Is it learned or are we born to be assertive?

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Answer by Joan F
Some of us do not stick up ourselves as we should. It is in our nature usually. I think being more assertive can be achieved if you want it enough.

Remember that song in The Sound of Music – ‘I have confidence in me’ that’s it in a nutshell ‘ ‘confidence’

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