Posts Tagged “Anger Rage”
Question by : How can i become Emotionally detached from my feelings of Anger,Pain, suffering, and rage ?
My emotions have sometimes gotten the best of me, theres times where if i mess up with a girl or i could have smashed a girl, i feel alot of Pain,Anger, and suffering, then it turns to rage cause i ont know how to become emotionally detached from my feelings, how can i develop the muscluar ability to exert self-control and become emotionally detached from my Emotions ?
Answer by Sivasubramanyam Yuddandi
Emotional involvement is life. never try to get detached, get merged and understand the emotional brain, them control mind. body has got nothing to do.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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Question by : What are some piano sonatas about ANGER and RAGE?
Hi, can you please list off the names of some piano sonatas or other piano pieces that have to do with anger and rage. Thank you.
Answer by Small K
Chopin Etude Op.10-12 Revolutionary was composed when he was angry and sad about the failed revolution in Poland against Russia.
Prokofiev’s “War Sonatas” for piano is based on his anger and grief towards War.
Just to note on Arthur Mornington’s answer; I was told that the Tempest was based on Shakespeare’s play “Tempest”. So, I don’t know if that counts as anger… although I do agree it does sound aggressive…
Give your answer to this question below!
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Question by jjthejet14: How do you build up anger and rage?
I need to know how to build up anger, rage, and get yourself pumped up.
Answer by Crazy Train
listen to disturbed. I think you mean pumped up for sports right?
What do you think? Answer below!
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How to Understand Anger and Rage in Autistic People
“I am very angry and filled with rage. I cannot express my anger, but I feel it. This anger permeates into every part of my being. It helps me to stay alive. It gives me energy to exist. It seems to be functioning to protect me. It is like a person standing over me and protecting me. It feels as if the rage has torn me apart and allows one part of myself to take care of the parts that cannot take care of themselves. My anger and rage are being put to work to function in a way that is helping me inside. This anger and rage is inside waiting to come out. It cannot come out now because it has an important job to do, but when it does it will fill a very large room.”
What is this autistic boy telling us? We can break up his message into two parts: 1) the dissociation experienced by individuals with autism and 2) how emotions such as rage and anger function within the individual with autism.
He seems to be telling us that he can feel his anger and rage, but more importantly cannot express it. From his vantage point, these emotions seem to be functioning as an internal protective mode. They protect the weaker parts of himself that cannot protect themselves. It is like they are functioning as people who are protecting him.
In some regards this can make sense. The individual has not had a completed attachment and thus is left in a dissociated unconscious state (lowest functioning child with autism). This changes as the child develops. Thus he can become more conscious and less dissociated and then we would call him high functioning or with Asperger’s. Eventually he may not be identified as being on the autism spectrum at all.
It is important to note that from the perspective of an incomplete attachment the child is functioning in a normal state of dissociation. Parts of the self are not conscious to or available to the person to use in their communications with others. It is the state that the person with autism lives. Bromberg (1994)* believes all individuals begin life made up of multiple self-states. Our wholeness develops through a relationship with another person during the attachment process. Because the person with autism lacks an attachment, he remains in a non-whole state of existence. Thus the individual has different parts of himself that have not been validated, remain unconscious and are also not integrated.
In this situation, this autistic boy not only is in a normal state of dissociation, but also as he lives in this state of dissociation and as he develops, he learns to adapt to the situation and parts of himself (in this case his rage and anger) become internal methods to handle and cope with his dilemma.
I believe that as he develops a significant relationship with a person who understands his predicament, together they can forge an attachment that will help him to become less dissociated. He will be able to communicate his rage and anger and other emotions as he becomes less dissociated. As this occurs, he will be able to communicate the feelings that up to this point have only been internalized.
It is important to note that some individuals with autism are filled with rage and anger and that as they do develop we see more of the explosive anger coming out. Some individuals seem to be filled with inordinate amounts of anger. I think of this from three perspectives: 1) the excessive anger might be due to his rage at not having had a direct outlet for these emotions. In other words, he had to live without access to his emotions so he is filled with anger that has never previously seen the light of day, 2) when anger is dissociated, the child does not have control over this emotion. Until his angry feelings are understood, they will come out as intermittent explosive acts of rage and 3) he probably has lots of angry feelings towards others that have not helped him to express his anger. This may not seem logical, but I would imagine the child with autism looks to the caregivers and others to know how to solve his dilemma and when this does not occur in a reasonable period of time, his anger may grow. When he finally has access to his emotions, there is what I think of as a lot of residual anger to deal with. Thus it would be important that when working with individuals with autism from a relational perspective, to expect this build up of anger to come forward. This will be a positive move for the individual with autism, but caregivers and others may not know how to manage their own feelings when they are bombarded with these angry emotions.
For more information on autism, read and follow my blog at www.wonderingaboutautism.blogspot.com.
*For more information on dissociation see :Bromberg P.M. (1994) “Speak! That I May See You” Some Reflections on Dissociation, Reality, and Psychoanalytic Listening. Psychoanalytic dialogues, 4 (4): 517-547.
Karen Savlov is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and psychoanalyst practicing in West Los Angeles. She is affiliated with the Institute of Contemporary Psychoanalysis. She specializes in autism spectrum disorders, depression, anger management, assertion training, communication, anxiety, relationships and work related issues. She has worked for many years with children, adolescents and adults including those on the autism spectrum continuum. She has also provided trainings and support groups for parents of children with autism. She is now running groups for college age students with developmental disabilities. She has made presentations on this subject at numerous conferences and meetings.
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Related Rage Articles
Desk Rage: Stressed Out Workers Go Off
Desk Rage: What is it?
With the economy continuing to cause workers to experience increased anxiety due to ongoing downsizing and corporate restructuring, a new phenomenon is taking place with American workers who are being asked to produce more and unfortunately, work for less. This phenomenon is called Desk Rage and is more common than you might think. Similar to other rages such as road rage, “Desk Rage” causes a person to act aggressively, often checking in patience at the office door. According to Dr. John Moore, a behavioral specialist and Chief Executive Officer of Second Story Consultants in Chicago, Desk Rage is a very real problem.
“You have a very toxic mix right now of legitimate job loss fear, increased demands for more worker productivity, and corporations asking its employees to do more with less. When combined, all of these create a difficult, stressful work environment, which is increasingly being expressed in fits of anger and rage.”
Desk rage is not a topic that gets a lot of attention because companies often do not like to publically address the issue. There is however a 2001 survey of 1,305 workers, commissioned by Integra Realty Resources in New York City, which found that 42 percent of workers surveyed said there was yelling and other verbal abuse in their office. Another 23 percent said they have been driven to tears because of workplace stress and 10 percent said employees have actually resorted to physical violence.
Moore suggests that part of what compounds the problem of desk rage are work environments that have been reconfigured to smaller, more “efficient” spaces as a result of downsizing. “Not only do you have fewer employees doing more work, you have less space in which to do it. I have toured work environments where cubicles are basically stacked on top of one another, with zero privacy. It’s not particularly a healthy environment.”
Are there symptoms?
Warning signs and symptoms of desk rage include:
Raised voices, often using curse words Little patience Increased irritability Poor work attitude Disregard for the feelings of co-workers Using a harsh tone of voice Engaging in put downs and insults
How to work through Desk Rage
“Losing your temper or going off on a co-worker can not only make matters worse, it can also cause you to become unemployed,” cautions Moore. He suggests the following when you feel that sudden flash of frustration coming on:
If possible, get up from your desk and go outside. Then take a few deep breaths and use your senses to focus on what is happening in the here and now, such as sounds or sensations. Once you feel a little calmer, then go back to your desk. Consider creating a journal that allows you to write down some of your feelings. Pull the journal out whenever you feel the need to let out some of your feelings. Take your breaks and lunches, regardless of how much work is sitting on your desk. This means not eating at your desk and reading e-mail during designated break periods. The point here is to get away from the job
Desk rage is a problem that seems to be affecting more and more workers as they try to survive in a difficult economy. If you feel desk rage has become a problem for you at work, consider speaking to a helping professional, such as a therapist or counselor.
The rush of adrenalin with an Anger and Rage Addiction can momentarily feel good, but soon after there is the inevitable let down. And remorse. To break the continuing cycle that generates anger, rage followed by a period of calm requires more than willpower. To need to think through the processes and take action well before your hostile feelings are triggered again.
Anger and Rage Addiction: How to Break the Cycle and Return to Health
The addictive cycle begins with just not feeling right. Your needs aren’t being met, you may feel abused or neglected, either in the past or the present. You’ve tried to fix things in different ways, but nothing seems to work. You’re just not getting what you want. You may not tell anyone, but you feel a lot of anxiety and pain, almost all of the time. The anger just builds and builds. You may have some physical pain from this, or the feeling that you’re going to explode.
And then you do explode.
Usually when you explode, someone gets hurt. Some of your stress is relieved, and you might possibly even have felt good for a few moments while you were releasing, but it doesn’t last. The person or people you hurt may be the ones you love the most in the world–either way you don’t like the results of your explosion.
You swore you wouldn’t do it again, but you just can’t seem to stop. You feel guilty, and you may or may not be able to apologize. When you do apologize nobody really believes you anymore. You might even think you were justified in your explosion, blaming someone else for how you felt.
Your needs still are not met. The problem is worse. But you got the temporary relief from anger/rage release, so if something doesn’t happen to break the cycle you will probably do it all again. This is addiction. You don’t have to live like this.
Fortunately, there are many different ways to break the cycle of anger/rage addiction.
1. Learn to meet your unmet needs. There is a sad, frightened child in every anger/rage addict, whether they know it or not. Once you begin to meet some of your own emotional needs, you will be more easily satisfied with what others can give you, taking a lot of stress out of relationships.
2. Identify the old behavior patterns and faulty thought processes that you have been using that maintain your addiction and destructive behavior. You may need Anger Management Counseling or an Anger Management Program to help you with that.
3. Giving yourself some relief from physiological distress can also help to break anger/rage addiction cycles. Exercise, a healthy diet, relaxation or meditation can be very helpful in this area. Getting plenty of rest is also essential to alleviating physiological distress.
4. Finding healthy ways to release your anger and rage can be extremely helpful for breaking the addictive cycle. You can read Dr. DeFoore’s book or listen to his Anger Management Techniques to learn more about healthy anger and rage release.
5. Experiencing physical release and relief with healthy anger work can be a major breakthrough for some people suffering from anger/rage addiction. Feeling powerful, being loud and using physical aggression in safe, non-destructive ways lets you know that it’s okay to be strong and take charge of your situation. And no one has to get hurt in the process.
WHEN RAGE BECOMES ADDICTIVE
The powerful rush of adrenaline that often accompanies anger feels good. It actually gives a person greater physical strength temporarily while the adrenaline is being released. After the release of anger, there is often a sense of euphoria and general well-being. If there has been a significant physical exertion during the expression of anger, there may also be endorphins released into the bloodstream, creating an even greater feeling of pleasure. All of this adds up to one point: you can get addicted to explosive releases of anger and rage.
It feels bad to store up feelings. Sometimes you get tense, irritable and uneasy. You may even develop physical pain from the tension, and possibly develop stress-related illnesses. The relief from tension experienced during aggressive behavior actually creates good feelings on a physical level, although you may be in great pain emotionally.
That’s the nature of addiction. When pleasant feelings become associated with unhealthy and destructive behavior, you get addicted to that behavior.
The addictive cycle helps to illustrate how the pattern of suppression and explosion develops. The cycle begins when your needs for love, nurturance, support and security go unmet in childhood. This includes experiences of neglect, abandonment, rejection and the many types of direct abuse. Part of being born as a vulnerable child in an imperfect world means having experiences that are painful and frightening. One of the ways we protect ourselves from more pain is through the use of anger.
If your parents were not educated about the healthy value of anger, they may have punished or rejected you when you displayed this emotion. Unfortunately, you continued to be hurt in various ways, and many of your needs continued to go unmet. This causes a buildup of anger and frustration, leading to a breaking point in a situation you feel is “safe” to release your anger.
The problem is that you tend to feel the safest (and the most angry) in your home with those you love. This is also where you tend to find the “last straw” that sends you “over the edge.”
That’s when the explosion occurs, followed by the rush of power and energy. At this point in the cycle, you may be verbally, emotionally or physically abusive. This usually leads to an apology or an attempt to “make it up to” the person or persons you have hurt. Some people don’t do this part; they just retreat into tremendous shame and guilt and don’t say a word about what has happened. Some powerful denial and blocking can occur at this point if the person is incapable of processing what has actually happened.
When apology or compensation does occur, the victim(s) may or may not forgive the abuser. It really does not matter. If the shame goes unhealed, the forgiveness will not be accepted. What matters is whether or not the person in the addictive cycle takes responsibility in the present, and takes care of unfinished business from the past. If they do, they’ve broken the cycle. If not, they will repeat the cycle and there will be more pain and suffering for all concerned. Fortunately, there are many effective ways to break the addiction cycle, and therefore no one has to be a victim to their addiction.
WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO
When you have effectively broken the anger and rage addiction cycle, your anger becomes healthy. Healthy anger is one of the most powerful resources you can have, and you can use it in positive ways to create the life of your dreams.
William G. DeFoore is a counselor, executive coach, author and speaker. He has 34 years of experience in helping people achieve healthy, happy relationships. Get free information, watch videos and purchase books, CDs and downloads at AngerManagementResource.com .
Question by critter: Anger?!?!?
What is a healthy way to express your anger or rage without hurting the person you are mad at or yourself?
Answer by CuriousC
Through writing – after you write your thoughts out, you can always burn them…maybe like getting rid of the feelings.
A stress ball….
Give your answer to this question below!
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