Question by Susan F: How to be more assertive in life?
I have a huge problem being assertive and sticking up for myself. I wanted to know if anyone had any advice on how to stop being such a pushover. I let my friends be catty to me and make me feel bad constantly, I am getting taken advantage of at work, and in my relationship I let my boyfriend cancel plans and ditch me all the time. I am sick of being a doormat but am always trying to please everyone and have no problems with anyone.

Best answer:

Answer by Sarah
I think i need to improve in that too. You just have to put your foot down. Don’t let them intimidate you.

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One comment on “How to be more assertive in life?

  1. Step:

    1) As soon as someone makes you feel bad respond…..tell them, without emotion and in a clear and calm voice what they did and how it makes you feel.

    2) Stop trying to please everyone. When there is a situation where one person wants you to do X and another wants you to do Y……do the one that pleases ~You~ the most; if that turns out to be none of the above then do none of the above.

    3) Dump your boyfriend…….in the long run he isn’t the “one”. If he was, he would consider your feelings above all other distractions.

    4) Work is a toughy….you don’t want to make any enemies by suddenly changing what you are willing to do but at the same time you do want to stop being taken for granted. Try having a frank discussion with your boss about some of your duties and ask him if perhaps a raise is in order for all the things you do that are not part of those duties.

    5) Anytime you feel you are being a doormat, go back and correct the problem right away….don’t keep it inside and silently suffer…..go do something about it; the sooner the better.

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